Dallas Family Law Section

In Virginia, if you are disabled and already getting disability from the government. you get married, then divorce.
What is the duration time of that marriage in order to receive alimony? For life? For 1/2 the duration of the marriage?

I’m sorry, I don’t know the laws of Virginia…however, having gone through the very painful divorce process myself, I’d encourage you to consider what is morally right and not what some legal precedent permits.

To understand alimony, you need to look back to the late 1800’s/early 1900’s. At that time, you could have a man with a wife and 6 kids find another woman and run off and leave the family. The woman had little opportunity to work (even many school teachers were required to be single)…hence, often left the families destitute…. Eventually, the legal system caught up and said that this was unfair and that he should pay alimony…. over time, this was "bastardized" to the point that if Tiger Woods’ wife did all that he supposedly did, and if she had didn’t have a prenup, she would still get alimony in most states (if it was a long enough marriage)… Note that even in Tiger’s case, that they had a prenup…yet the legalized extortion is starting for her to ask for far more.

The interesting thing is that if you look at your situation…what’s the most money that, if you were single for your life, you would have made? Now, for a few years of marriage, you are now looking to reap much more than that… why? what does the marriage have to do with it? Presumably, you both enjoyed the friendship and closeness. Just because he worked hard to be successful, went to school, invested his skills and became more successful, you are, effectively, claiming that his success is due to you and your marriage – at least in part. Do you really think this? It might be true if you helped him build his business (you were the marketer for the business)… however, it doesn’t sound that way… and just because you like your new lifestyle, doesn’t mean that you really deserve it going forward when you are about to destroy him emotionally.

It’s the concept of unjust enrichment…unfortunately, the legal system is a tad based on legalized extortion… the cost of defending yourself is so high that eventually you capitulate or go bankupt on legal fees.

You sound like you started off life with many challenges…. you now sound like you want to instill/penalize another person (who loved you and you loved him – at least for some time) for the rest of your life not because you’re deserving – but because of a legal sysem that was put in place to take care of gross inequity is now abused.

I encourage you to ask yourself as to where would you be now if you hadn’t gotten married? If you started with nothing, and you could only early minimum wage and receive disability payments, then you’d still have nothing… Thank your God for having had the opportunity to see a different side and that you have learned that you enjoyed the nicer things in life, but didn’t like the person you had to be with to get them… Remember, you will face your God some day… do you want Him or Her to give you what you truly deserve? What would He or She want you to do?.

We live in Mass. We were divorced in 2008. She got custody of the kids and I pay $300 a week in child support. Our oldest daughter wants to come live with me and that means my ex would get less child support. Needless to say she is not happy about this and is threatening to come after me for alimony. She feels that since I will pay less support I can afford alimony. She doesn’t realize I would need that money to support my daughter. Can she do this?

She can try – You can always petition to open the decrees, but alimony is something you have to agree to – it’s not like child support. I doubt you’d ever agree to it, would you?

I filed for divorce and my spouse and I settled on an alimony amount. I have paid her 2 months of said alimony but come to find out the lawyer has not even filed the divorce papers with a judge. Do i need to continue paying alimony while i wait for the judge to sign it, or can I wait till it is official?

You can keep going as you are or tell your soon to be ex wife that you would prefer to wait for the judges ruling. Keep in mind that if you and your wife have already agreed on an amount, and if you defer from that it could go either way in court.
Talk to your lawyer as he is the best to advise you on this. Just try and be fair, and if you suspect that your wife isn’t then get the gloves on.

No, it isn’t me. I am just doing research. Also, how reliable are the courts in enforcing alimony? Are they as zealous as they are for child support?

There is some variation between the procedure in various states, but you have to "domesticate" (file) the judgment in the state where the ex lives. In our state, you just get the judgment certified from the home court and file it in the other states. Some states require a new pleading with the "foreign" (your state’s) judgment attached. However it is done, it’s quite easy. Are the states as zealous in enforcing alimony as child support? Yes, but there is no alimony support enforcement agency like there is for child support. That’s not necessarily bad, since the child support enforcement agencies are overburdened and slow. SO–bottom line–if your ex has assets, hire a lawyer in the other state and enforce it through garnishment etc. You can recover your attorney fees and the alimony is not subject to bankruptcy. It’s so much easier to just hire an attorney from the state where your ex lives than to do it yourself. EDIT: You could not do this is "small claims court" in my state. First-the amount is probably not small and second-small claims courts have no jurisdiction over family law matters in my state.

If a person is disabled and is already receiving alimony will they be automatically denied benefits, or will benefits be limited? Can the ex-spouse paying the alimony withdraw support?

No you can not be denied benefits…
No your ex cannot stop paying alimony…
until such time as the Court says so…

That is not likely to happen as they do not
want you on Welfare..The Courts will do
everything they can to prevent that.
Even to the point of supporting your
Disability Claim.

Is this concept a contradiction of equality.

Does it reaffirm the fact that women who live on alimony are actually unable to sustain themselves and are dependant on a man for their existance?

What is the basis for demanding alimony?

Is it the cost recoverable for the time spent together and the intimacy shared?

Feminism pushes men’s allimonial rights to the fullest. Feminism allows more and more women to become wealthy, so in case of a divorce more and more men are able to take advantage of that right and be granted alimony.

Other than that, I think alimony is a concept that needs to be redone. It was meant for poor women who raised children and needed money to get on their feet in case of the divorce and for their time and energy spent in the house instead of the outside workplace not to be a total "waste"….now, all I see is wealthy people who are fully capable of supporting themselves, taking each other to court to continue enjoying a luxurious lifestyle.

My salary tends to follow "boom & bust" cylces where I will make low to moderate wages for two to three years then high wages for two to three years, then repeat cycle. How is alimony calculated in such a situation? The last 12 or 24 months income before filing for divorce?

Talk to your attorney about this. Only an attorney licensed in your state is going to have the right answer. Especially about alimony, because it’s based on so many factors–the income of the parties is only one (at least here).

If I was representing you, I’d try to use as many tax years as possible to show the cyclical nature of your income. The other attorney would try to use the most recent if it’s highest, of course.

I live in South carolina and me and my husband are going through a divorce. I was approached by a friend about looking into receiving alimony. My husband makes a decent amount of money, and I have been a housewife for 4 years. I only have a high school education and the way the economy is today, there are no jobs here. Does anyone know what the rules are in South Carolina for qaulifying for alimony?

You’ve only been a housewife for 4 years? Women/Men who get alimony are housewives/husbands for 10/15/20 years. Go get a job.